I Have a Climbing Problem: An Epic in 7 Pictures

The following images may contain melodrama.

Viewer discretion is advised.

My "I will scale you, odd-looking cliffs" face

Taken roughly 5 minutes into our hike up the mountain

My "About to fall to my death" face

It was about this time that a German saw me and cracked up. Mission success.

"No worries... it's only 5 infinities away!"

The 30 foot drop is conveniently not visible from this angle, making me look like a forest creature.

For the record, this is a real place: the Bastei. And I will one day go back and climb this rock in the foreground.

Ode to a Puddingbretzel

Some internet glitches in (beautiful) Germany have backed up my posts somewhat, but fear not--I will faithfully catch all of you up in pseudo-chronological order!

I would like to dedicate my latest post to my new favorite German treat: the Puddingbretzel. Thanks to this fine breakfast of champions, I have overcome my inhibitions about trying to speak languages I don't actually know. Because of this important moment in my life (and because I had far too much time in the Berlin airport), I have written a poem in its honor:


Ode to a Puddingbretzel by Trey Gordner

Blest be the pastry
That on this fine day
Did make me a speaker of German

No language gap
Could scare me away
To say the least, I was determined

"Ein puddingbretzel!"
I said at the counter
(Adding "bitte" to be polite)

She handed it over
With a quick "Danke schön"
I'm not fluent, but I get by alright!

The object of my breakfast-related affection

Observations with Trey Gordner: Travel Edition

1) There is great need for live entertainment at airports.

2) I am unable to pass a small child without waving and/or making a funny face.

3) Miami from the sky looks like one big Burn Notice cut scene.

4) A 3-hour layover goes by fast… especially when you are combing other people’s music. Word to the wise, Wi-Fi in some airports automatically allows other Mac users to see/listen to your iTunes library!

5) The Borgias is essentially “Assassin’s Creed: The miniseries”.

6) My competitiveness knows no bounds. Guess who is now in the all-time top ten for in-flight trivia? The girl in the seat beside me cracked up when I fist-pumped. Also, the little seat-TVs had Bejeweled… let’s not talk about it.

7) Delta has ridiculously good in-flight music. There is no shame in trawling it.

8) Beware ticket-activated exit gates in train stations. They will think your rolling luggage is another person sneaking through behind you and squish it, to your great embarrassment.

9) Making bank notes of uniform size and shape is evidently only an American thing.

10) ALWAYS LOOK BOTH WAYS! a.k.a. It is very easy to nearly die when crossing the road in England.

Somewhere down there, Michael Weston is giving DIY spy advice.